I have a lot of weird habits that have formed out throughout my life. I like to walk around whenever I start to think for a bit. I use large hand motions in everyday conversations and while thinking to myself. Though if I were to think of one habit that would stand out the most, I would think of this one.
I like to observe humans.
Now the way I phrased this is weird isn’t it? “I like to observe humans.” I could have just said, “I like to look at people” and it would give off the same meaning, but I think otherwise. I think that these two phrases give off different meanings. In the latter one, I think it gives off the connotation that I like to glance at a person, think, “He looks nice” or, “She looks cute” and then move on. In the first one, I think that it gives the feeling of analyzation. Which is exactly what I do.
Now this habit was formed many years ago in the fifth grade like some of my other habits did as well. When I was alone during recess, I would look at the other kids and see what they were doing. I would think to myself, “He’s having fun playing soccer” or “She seems happy talking with her friends.” At first it was just looking at what other people were doing, but then it grew into something bigger.
As I grew older I no long just glanced at a person and then go off on my merry way. I began to take a bit more time with looking at others. I first looked at what they were doing. I looked at people doing their homework, playing games, talking to others, etc. I then began to look at them in more detail. I looked at their face at first. I looked at their eyes for their eye colors. I looked for blemishes or scars. I looked for moles, birthmarks, freckles, etc. I then looked at their clothes: what brand they were, how loose or fitting they were, how clean they were. I began to dive into more and more detail until I hit a wall that I needed to climb over.
Why did they style their hair like that? Why did they wear that today? Why is he doing that to him? Why does she do that? I wanted to know. I wanted to understand others. I wanted to know the “why” of people. I wanted to learn of their motives, beliefs, drives, dreams, and much more. As I started to dive into this, I started using less and less time to stare at people. Now I just need to glance for a couple of seconds to get an overall feel for the person. I came back to where I started.
It’s not like I consider this to be a bad thing to do. I, in fact, consider this to be a great thing to happen to me. I began to learn about others better. I copied others’ actions and behaviors to better understand others. It helped me become who I am. I owe myself to the observation of others. I will continue to observe humans and I will continue to learn from them for the rest of my life.