Pirates Vs. Ninjas Solved! Thanks to Ninjago!

Pirates Vs. Ninjas a debate that has been going on for many years and I for one… don’t know where this actually came from.

So after an extensive search on google, I was able to narrow it down to the website called knowyourmeme.com, a.k.a. typed in “Where did the pirates vs. ninja come from?” and clicked I’m feeling lucky.

Turns out it came from a person by the name of Robert Hamburger wrote about the hypothetical battle on his website, RealUltimatePower in April 17th, 2003.

So I thought to myself, “Who would win?” I was able to come upon the answer by watching an episode of Ninjago and the episode so happen to be about Pirates Vs. Ninjas. My luck right!?!?!

Before I start, I want to make it clear that I believe that the show was able to accurately depict the ninjas and pirates and the fight in the episode was not at all bias or anything like that.

Let’s start with the pirates.

The pirates are shown to wield iron or steel cutlasses as their primary weapon. The swords are strong enough to cut through the floorboards of a ship. A rocket-powered ship I might add.

Oh yeah…the pirates also has that too. The show depicted the pirates to have a rocket-powered ship, mostly made out of wood and decorated with cool black paint, making it look like a dragon. The ship is quite durable able to ram through skyscrapers with minimal damage. The ship also carried canons that were able to shoot cannonballs that tore through buildings as well.

However, despite popular belief, pirates did not actually wield any sort of firearm. No pistols, musket, or anything. This wasn’t approached on too much on in the episode so I’ve came up with a hypothesis. Guns are expensive.

Now for their ultimate weapon, gumballs. The gumballs are surprisingly effective able to take out not one, not two, but three ninjas at the same time! A powerful weapon indeed.

©2012 Cartoon Network [cc by 2.0]

That’s pretty much all the pirates had so let’s move on to the ninjas.

The ninjas are shown to wield a variety of weapons. Ranging from katanas, nunchucks, shurikens, and even a scythe. All able to cut through the wooden floorboards of the ship that I previously mentioned.

Of course the ninjas arsenal isn’t just for the offensive. They also carry a pouch of smoke bombs, able to shroud their movements and disrupt any battle or to flee from one.

The ninjas also had the ability to utilize elemental powers, ranging from fire, earth, ice, lightning, and even energy. You guys should know what all these do. Well maybe besides energy…kinetic force?

The ninjas also had a FREAKING DRAGON! Not only that but it had four heads and you know the saying “four head are better than one.” Each head also has the ability to breath fire, earth, ice, and lightning.

Now onto the verdict.

Weaponry: Pirates

Even though the ninjas had a variety of weapons to keep the pirates on their toes, the cutlasses were able to match all of the ninja’s weapon without fail. The pirates also had gumballs which I will repeat, took out three ninjas at the same time. Besides, the ninjas were desperate enough to use a scythe, a farming tool!

Vehicles/Steeds: Ninja

This was an easy one. Ships have no brains and the Four-headed dragon has four, making it smarter than the average dragon. Also the dragon can also breath fire and fire burns wood. Sure the ship has canons, but it takes time to load them up and fire, the dragon is shown to be quite fast able to save a man from falling in a second notice.

Physic: Tie

This is a tie. In the show, the ninjas are shown to be quite maneuverable, avoiding hits and weaving through the battlefield like a, well, ninja. However the pirates are shown to be quite durable able to take on plenty of damage without a single scratch.

Special Powers: Ninja

The pirates didn’t have any special powers…duh.

NINJAS WIN!

Derek

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One comment

  1. overboiledeggs · January 6, 2016

    You have a very compelling argument of pirates versus ninjas!

    Like

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